The Top 25 Rankings Don't Mean $h!T

I'm currently looking at the newest AP Top 25 Rankings for Week 5 of the 2008 Collegiate Football season and it's the Top 10 that really has me shaking my head. I have concluded that the so-called "knowledgeable" individuals that vote teams into prominence should be working at Goodwill because they obviously know nothing about the sport they are voting for. Here's a link to the newest Top 10 and a link to the full list on ESPN.

1) Oklahoma
2) Alabama
3) LSU
4) Missouri
5) Texas
6) Penn State
7) Texas Tech
8) Brigham Young
9) USC
10) South Florida

I had a hard time typing "Brigham Young" and "South Florida" without completely laughing my ass off at whoever put those two jackass squads in there. Ok, before I go on my rant I KNOW that the whole "Oregon State beat USC so since OSU got anally probed by Penn State that means PSU would destroy USC" logic can be/is faulty at times but bear with me on this. Strength of schedule will be my main point of discussion for these teams.

1) Oklahoma - I have no beef with you being #1. At this point I think it makes sense. You guys are really good! Even though your fan base is the biggest group of whiners ever assembled I completely understand...I'd whine too if my state was the armpit of the United States and my sister was also my wife.

2) Alabama - This is where it really begins. Alabama number 2? Really? Wow they beat a Georgia team that has one good player in Knowshon Moreno and I guess since they dismantled that truly bad ass Hawaii team ( <--- sarcasm) in the Sugar Bowl last year they were really that good. You also beat a No. 9 Clemson back in week 1 who officially sucks and is out of Top 25 now. Those wins over Tulane, Western Kentucky and Arkansas are mediocre at best as well. You're definitely a good team, but No. 2....I think not.

3) LSU - I think Les Miles is living right because that guy has a knack for winning close games down the clutch (ex. last week against Auburn). Auburn is better than Georgia too...mark that down. Your defense is arguably the fastest in the nation and you're only going to get better on offense with your walk-on QB in Jarrett Lee. The Bayou Bengals deserve to be #2 in my opinion.

4) Missouri - Your marquee win thus far is against Illinois who isn't even ranked anymore...and you had to outscore them 52-42 to do it. Your other wins are against Southern Missouri State, Nevada and Buffalo and you're ranked #4. Riiiiiight. Your defense is suspect and will not hold up against the top teams in the Big 12 (ex. Texas and Oklahoma). You don't play a good opponent until October 18th when you travel to the Longhorns. By then you'll probably be #2, and then you'll get rolled like a burrito. Enjoy it while it lasts.

5) Texas - I watched you play UTEP for your second game of the season and you put the smack down on them pretty good 42-13. After the departure of stud running back Jamal Charles I figured you might have a little trouble adjusting, but then I remembered you're Texas. You recruit...really well. Colt McCoy really looks like he is coming into his own too. Typing his name is almost as fun as saying it. You play at Colorado on the 4th of October and I think that game will be even more telling as to the true potential of this team. At this point you should be ahead of Missouri in the rankings.

6) Penn State - I love you Penn State. My love affair with you began 3 weeks ago when you proceeded to $hit-can the Beavers. The state of Oregon would be overrun right now with "OS" bandanas wrapped around the necks of pet sheep if it wasn't for your interjection. In retrospect that was a pretty sweet win and your spread offense definitely has the potential to give Ohio St. fits. Unfortunately, you do have to play at the horse shoe later in the year, but I still think you'll be a Top 5 team after all is said and done. You deserve to be No. 4 simply because you are a successful team with a coach who doesn't even coach....and that my friends is impressive.

7) Texas Tech - All I know is that you have a QB in Graham Harrell that throws the ball about 75 times a game and the best WR out there in Michael Crabtree. Sorry, but you're still a pansy though. You have beaten Eastern Washington, Nevada (they seem to be everybodys whipping boy), Southern Methodist and Massachusetts. WOW Texas Tech...don't schedule anybody too tough. You don't play an opponent of any significant value until October 25 when you line up against Kansas. Needless to say, you won't even be in the Top 25 at the end of the season.

8) BYU - Northern Iowa, Washington (Pac-10 official aided win), UCLA and Wyoming are your only wins thus far. They are a combined 5-12 in the win/loss column. And when most teams are playing quality opponents in week 5 you get the joy of playing Utah St. I think half the team can go to the game and the other half can go find their 3rd wives. Your toughest test has been to a Washington team that Oklahoma, the #1 team in the country, beat like a red headed step-child. Your one quality in conference opponent is Utah and that game is the finale for the year. I guess we'll be hearing about your "outstanding" team for next 2 months. Joy.

9) USC - You let a midget running back tear you up...enough said. You don't really deserve to even be in the Top 10 in my opinion after the shellacking Oregon St. gave you. If the voters took you out of the Top 10 though then that might mean you can't achieve the championship game, and there is just TOO much revenue in the L.A. area to let that happen. You have more talent and speed than any other team out there, and you do have a way of winning games when your back is against the wall. Just feel compelled to start that trend AFTER Oregon leaves town on Saturday, October 4th at around 2 A.M. when they board their plane to return home.

10) South Florida - You being ranked this high is about as illegitimate as BYU. You beat Kansas on Friday Night Football at home....barely. I could give you credit for that if it wasn't for Todd Reesing throwing a horrible pass and serving it up to you on a silver platter. This year your conference makes the PAC-10 look like the SEC in difficulty, and as of this moment the only other ranked team in your conference is No. 24 Connecticut. Maybe I'm the only one who remembers when Oregon stomped you out in the Sun Bowl last year by 40, but that would be the same result if you actually played in a conference with some balls. Here's hoping you stumble against West Virginia or even that vaunted Connecticut team. Hey, look on the bright side...you have the ugliest QB in college football...and that is something to be proud of.